Friday, February 15, 2008

No, no, no, no, you don't understand --

Communication is such a difficult thing. It seems everywhere I go and in most things I do that there is somebody that does not understand me or what I try to communicate.

At times it seems that I must talk a different language than other people. I have been accused of having a dry sense of humor. What's up with that?

Sometimes people do not understand that I am joking. Is it a mistake to try and be familiar with people?

I believe that one should not underestimate their influence. I also work on the other end of the scale where I grow frustrated from not being able to influence others the way I want.

I firmly believe that the Scout Oath is a good thing to use as a standard for behavior and forming of a person's character.

On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
mentally awake, and morally straight.

And part of that is the Scout Law.

A Scout is:

and Reverent.

I notice that there is not anything in there that says -- I am a good communicator.

I am now a member of Toastmasters International and I am learning things about presenting a message to others. I have been involved with people all my life and have talked with many, and there are always those times that I just seem to not be able to get it right.

One day in my youth, (I must have been a teenager) I was working in the garage and somebody came in to buy a sparkplug for his lawmower. I plopped the plug down on the counter in front of him and said, "We don't have any". He stormed out of the garage and came back with his father to give me a scolding. The customer was a grown man that should have seen that I was employing a bit of humor. But did he? NOoooo!

Recently I sent out an e-mail from my personal account to invite people to come join in the blogging process thinking that since we have seen no responses that the messages were not being delivered. From my personal e-mail I at least get notices of delivery failure due to technical difficulties. I received a couple malformed or nonexistent address notices, so I removed those for the invitation list. To my chagrin there are no people who have actually accepted the invitations to be authors.

On the contrary, rather than incite people to respond with a favorable action because of my interest, I was accused of being a spammer. Is it my turn to misunderstand another, or was this a blatant way of saying go away and leave me alone you are bothering me, as it came across.

I do not like to be rejected. I want and need positive reinforcement in my endeavors, just as others do. When I put in efforts for the benefits of others, with little consideration for myself, it is difficult to find that my efforts were received with contempt or disregard. I am not referring to any particular singular incident, but I am ranting in general.

I believe people should take pride in the things that they accomplish. I am proud of positive things that have been done and attributed to influence that I generated. My participation in a family, at work, and church have afforded me the opportunity to exercise some influence. It seems that my experience is that I have about a 50% success rate in achieving the outcome I want.

On the other hand -- why should I take credit for the failure of others to perform things that they should do? I am my own agent and they are their own agents.

I wonder how many will understand what I am trying to say?


  1. I'm not much of a "commentor" but I do enjoy reading your blog. Perhaps it is because I have a personal interest in your family because of the most wonderful daughter in law in the whole entire world.

  2. I am glad that you like Julie. Julie is a great joy in our lives. Julie, Clint, and Leslie are just too far away. We would like to be closer so we could be more intimately involved in their lives.

  3. Larry, I want you to know how much I have appreciated being invited to your family's blog. We have missed you terribly since you moved from Colorado. Our visits to you and your family were a highlight in our life. Being able to participate in your blog gives us a window into your lives and helps me feel connected to you again.

    I too have been disappointed by people's response to the blogs we have invited people to. There is a line in the movie, "Fiddler on the Roof" that sums up my feelings. As the family is leaving Anatevka, there is a touching seen where one Daughter and her husband are trying to say goodbye but are met with silence. The husband says, "Some are driven away with edicts, others by silence." So it has been with our sincere invitations to be a part of our lives.

  4. The last time we left to come to Texas we came back to be by family. Most of them moved away.

    We are scattered to the four winds now, and it appears that it will just continue to get even worse.

    I miss being by family and friends.


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