Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Communication is Such a Difficult Thing

During my whole life I have had instances where what I said was taken in a way that was not even close to what I meant. There may be a couple reasons for this, but projection by others seems to be one of the root causes. What others believe and see is what they hear. An innocuous question may be construed into something entirely different, or a joke may be taken in a way that is assumed to be offensive instead of fellowship.

It is very difficult to know the workings of a persons inner feelings. People get it wrong frequently. There are situations where inside someone can be elated with a situation and not be boisterous and loud, which is interpreted by someone else as indifference. In "Pride and Prejudice" when Darcy convinced his friend Charles Bingley to not pursue a further relationship with Jane Bennett because he believed her to be indifferent, he was probably acting on his own set of feelings. Later Darcy admitted that he was hopelessly in love with Elizabeth Bennett and how he abhorred any form of deception by covering ones feelings. He did cover his feelings for a long time.

In the end Darcy finally communicated his love for Elizabeth and she in turn her love for him, but it was a monumental effort.

Measure your words and use more than just words to communicate what you will.


  1. I know that I quite often misunderstand what people's intentions are with their communication. I have very tender feelings and have take constructive criticism at times as disapproval. I am working hard at changing that.

    I am finding that if I am not sure what someone is saying, it's best to ask. I am getting better at it, but still have some work to do.

  2. No, no, no, no. You do not understand. Misunderstanding is easy, communication is difficult.


Please feel free to comment. Be nice.