Disguises

One thing that I have noticed over time is that things are not always what you think they are at first blush.

It is a very difficult to determine what somebody's motive is for their actions. Even when you have lived with someone for a very long time, it is difficult to know what a person is really feeling. You may be right most of the time, but there is that time that you just don't know.

In my life I have been one to suppress some of my inner most feelings, but there are times when they just come gushing out. There are some very emotional times in my life that I have let my emotions spill over, where I would laugh, or cry, or just smile so hard my cheeks hurt.

I remember going to my father's funeral, where I tried to give a prayer. I thought that I would just stand there and pray from my heart and be still. My emotions overcame me and I sobbed and sniffled between each word I uttered. I don't remember the words.

When I asked Jeanette to marry me, I smiled until my cheeks were just inflamed; the same happened the day Arlo was born.

In times like those mentioned it was difficult for me to disguise my true feelings because they were emblazoned on my countenance.

I remember another time that Jeanette and I had a dispute. We attended a ward dinner at the Webster building in Littleton, where we sat together at the table. One of the women in the ward walked over to us and asked if we had just had a fight. It was bold of her to ask, but she did it in a way that showed she did care about us. It was obvious by our countenances that we were not enjoying that blissful peace that we had when we were up at Bridal Veil Falls up Provo Canyon (where I gave Jeanette a ring).

One of my favorite movies is Pride and Prejudice. There is a scene in the movie where Darcy was chastised by Elizabeth for his not being a gentleman, when later he admitted that he looked upon himself acting that way with abhorrence. Earlier in the show he commented that he looked on disguising ones true feelings with abhorrence.



At the end of the show Elizabeth declared to her father that she did not find Darcy objectionable, but that she liked him; she loved him.

What is love?

I like the definition that Jeanette had posted on the bathroom mirror for a while:
Love is the genuine concern for the welfare of another.

Over the millenia there have been many people who have claimed that they are the chosen elite while at the same time exuding hate through their actions. Jesus Christ taught that you should turn the other cheek versus the Law of Moses identified a tooth for a tooth, and eye for an eye, etcetera.

Another of my favorite movies, Fiddler on the Roof, had Tevia philosophizing that if we follow the rule of a eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, we would all go around blind and toothless. It seems that he had a fair grasp of human nature. It seems that it is easy to be vindictive. It takes self control and diligence to live the golden rule.

Several years ago I had the opportunity to go to a training course where conflict resolution was one of the subjects. It seems that the golden rule was one of the bones of conflict for some people, because they do not want done to them as you would want done to yourself. Even though the golden rule is a wonderful tool, an extension of that rule comes to help resolve some of the friction. Restated: DO UNTO OTHERS AS THEY WOULD HAVE YOU DO.

I am in favor of removing the disguises. Call oppression and hate what they are. The Bible has a verse that I think rings so true in our time. Isaiah 5:20 "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"

I have taken an interest in history the last few years. I am not sure why I find it interesting now when I did not when I was younger, but I have learned much about how the hand of the Lord has been in the events that have come up to have me here now in a country that has enough liberty to allow me to choose good or evil. I am sad that there are so many that choose to do evil and call it good.